Did that really just come out of my mouth?

Can I just go back and start this day over? Please?
I work at a call center. Lately they have been making some changes in how we are evaluated. No problem, I know how to do my job, however they have be ripping me a new one over my accent and grammar. I was born and raised in East TN. I grew up on a farm, raised tobacco, and had pet chickens. Hell I even took baby mice that I had caught in the barn to my show and tell in elementary school. Kids drove their tractors and lawn mowers to school on homecoming week at my high school. I admit I sound like a hick, but what the hell do they expect me to sound like?? They knew this when I was hired 6 years ago, but suddenly it's not acceptable. So like I said they are jumping my shit because of how I talk.

Well I go into work this morning and my boss shows up at my desk with this guy in a damn 3 piece suite and tells me he is from our corporate office in IL. He is visiting our center for the day. (Yay....)Since he's here he wants to sit with some of our people and 'get the feel for what we do'. Guess who the lucky girl is that they decide to sit him with. Are they insane?!? It really doesn’t help that I had woke up late this morning so I'm wearing my holey old jeans, the hubbys old camo shirt and a fucking baseball hat that says "Roughneck" across the front. To top it off I have my Wal-Mart Ugg knock off boots on that I'm pretty sure the dog pissed on, but hey they were beside the door so that’s what I wore. It was definitely one of those mornings that I just grabbed whatever didn't have any type of baby shit/snot/pee on it and looked halfway clean and went with it. I mean really, I sit in a cubicle all day no need to go to the trouble of makeup and all that nonsense.

So boss and suite man are at my desk. I've been busted in the act of chowing down on left over Valentine’s Day candy I've swiped from the kiddies. (Breakfast of champs!) We are not supposed to have food at our desks so if my appearance hasn't made me a candidate for employee of the month I'm sure that did it. OK....candy put away. We are all set to take a few calls. I'm trying really hard not to sound like a cow tippin country bumpkin. I'm making sure I put the "g" on the end of the words that are supposed to have a "g" and saying "Thank YOU" instead of "Thank YA". I'm doing pretty darn good if I do say so myself. Until I get the call that shot it all to hell. I'm placing an order. Easy! I could do this shit in my sleep. I'm verifying the shipping address for the order and what do I do......I say "May I have your SHITTIN' address". Wait.....What did I just say? Did I seriously just fuck that up that bad?!? Yup I sure did. Not only did I say the wrong word, I turned a perfectly innocent word into a profanity (which is slightly frowned upon when talking to the customers) AND left off the fuckin "g" at the end. By this point my face has turned bright red and dude is trying not to laugh at me. Well after that little slip up I figured fuck it. Let the southern slang fly. I threw in so many "honey" and "darlins" I'm sure the lady I was talking to thought I batshit crazy. The fact that he is laughing makes me hopeful I'm not getting fired.

Silver lining is maybe they won't sit people with me from now on!