First blog ever!

Let me start out explaining a little about my crazy life. I have 2 fantastic little boys. Kid #1 is soon to be 3 years old and he is the craziest kid I've ever seen. The things that come out of his mouth sometimes amaze me. It is insane how much of a smart ass he is already. I am in some serious trouble when he gets older. To make his little attitude even funnier he has the most country accent I've ever heard a child have. Kid #2 is my 1 year old wild child. He is a tough little shit and gives his big brother a run for his money. He's just learned how to walk and has taken some falls that would make me cry and  he just jumps right up and keeps going. Now #2 has definitely inherited my redhead temper times 10. Before he even turned a year old he had given #1 a black eye for trying to take one of his toys. Just a few weeks ago he got in trouble in his Sunday school class for hitting one of the older boys in the face with a plastic phone. Yep if I thought #1 was going to give me trouble when he's older because of his mouth then I am completely screwed when #2 goes to school. I have the feeling I'll be getting calls every day about him fighting.

Well on to the events that inspired me to create this blog. I'm convinced that they are trying to drive me crazy this week. I think their goal is to watch me being carted out of the house in a straight jacket. It all started on the way home from my mom’s house the other day. About half way home #1 started throwing a God awful fit because he forgot to tell 'mam-mams' cows bye. So the rest of the way home I heard screaming for me to turn around because the cows would be sad if he didn't tell them bye. Eventually he got the point that I was not driving all the way back and that the cows would be there for him to tell them bye the next time. Of course through this whole tantrum #2 was making it worse by reaching across the back seat and touching him then laughing when #1 would freak out even worse. Now the only funny part about this is the fact that when #2 laughs he sounds like Beavis and Butthead so it was kind of amusing.

On to day 2 of plan drive mommy batshit crazy. We get up at the ungodly hour of 7am on a Saturday morning because Lord knows my kids couldn't sleep in on one of the only days that I am able to sleep past 6:30. Well about noon the hubby decides that he can't handle the craziness of both kids being wild anymore so we decide to go out and run some errands. So the hubby is in the shower and I take #1 to his room to change clothes. I put #2 in his playpen so he can't tear the house down while I'm not in the room. Suddenly I hear a thump and running. The crazy kid has climbed out of his playpen! I run to the living room and see him making a mad dash to the stairs. Big red spot on his head and all from where I'm guessing he landed when he climbed out. So I'm thinking Oh lord he’s gave himself a concussion but of course he’s fine because like I mentioned he’s the toughest little thing I've ever seen. Ok back to getting dressed.....#1 decides he is going to take the baby gate down so he can go up the stairs because heaven forbid he wait 2 minutes for me to get out of the bathroom to open it for him. This results in him hitting himself in the face with the gate and busting his lip. I come out of the bathroom to my hallway looking like a set from a horror movie. He has spit blood everywhere. *sigh* So i get him cleaned up and make sure he’s not missing any teeth and go back to getting ready. While out shopping we are in a store and me and #1 decide to wander to the shoe section because he says he needs "bear huntin boots" leaving the hubby with #2. Next thing I know I see hubby walking over to us with this look on his face. Uh oh....Apparently he was at the counter holding #2 talking to the sales guy when all of a sudden the lady standing beside him screams. Of course everyone around him turns to see what is wrong. Low and behold my child has a handful of this poor woman’s hair and is pulling for all he's worth. The hubs has decided from now on the kid stays in his stroller when out in public. So the rest of the day goes by pretty uneventful other than the normal stuff like #2 trying to eat dog food and #1 deciding that his little brothers nickname is now going to be 'shithead' and despite multiple time outs and treats to bust his butt he still insists on calling him that.

Day 3.....It starts out fine besides the fact #2 is cutting another tooth and is in a absolutely foul mood. Normal crazy morning but finally its the kids nap time. Wooohooo my favorite time of the day. So #1 falls asleep on the couch and instead of risking waking him up while carrying him to his bed I just pushed the ottoman up beside him so he couldn't roll off. Apparently I underestimated how much he rolls while asleep because somehow he manages to get in the foot long space at the bottom of the couch where the ottoman doesn't cover. Yep he rolls off......let the screaming begin. He's ok of course but now they are both awake. It was a peaceful 10 minutes while it lasted though. They have had more accidents in this one weekend than they have had in 6 months put together....I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Later in the day I walk in the kitchen and the cat is in the high chair that is sitting beside the table. No big deal that is one of his favorite place to hide from the kids. Well what I see is #1 standing on top of my kitchen table with his pants down to his ankles trying to pee on the cat. WHAT THE HELL?!?! Seriously what is this kid thinking! His explanation is the cat scratched him. Ummm ok why in the world were you on the table trying to pee on him?!?! Now remember I told you he is a major smart ass....his response to that question was "Well I couldn’t pee on him from the floor!" I don't even know what to say to that. It doesn’t help that the hubby was in the doorway laughing saying "Well he's got a good point" Ok so its laundry time now. I'm hanging up clothes and I hear #1 playing with the dog. All of a sudden he busts out laughing and says "I skeered the daggone piss outta diddly!" (He named her himself when we got her and we still have no clue why he named her diddly) By this point I'm just going to ignore this. Normally I would tell him that "piss" is not a nice word but after the events of the past few days I'm not even going to try on this one. Thank the Lord it's finally bed time! Needless to say I was ready to come back to work Monday morning. I love my boys with all my heart but if I was a stay at home mom I'm pretty sure I would lose my mind.